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Dear Cat...

Discussion in 'Time for Tea' started by tirial, May 9, 2018.

  1. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire

    Dear Sophie and Matilda,

    I know it is hot. You know it is hot. So now it is really heating up I can understand you coming in.

    I don't understand why one of you is now sleeping by the hot water tank (54c), and the other has chosen to snooze by the hot air exhaust from our test server (64c)...

    You are going to cook!

    Regards,
    Mum
     
  2. athersgeo

    athersgeo Guest

    Oh dear...we had a cat who used to do that sort of thing - in her case, she liked to sleep with her head pressed up to the hot water pipe from the boiler!

    And on a related note:

    Dear Loki

    Yes, it's hot.

    No, it's not my fault.

    I know you think it's in my contract that everything is my fault, but the weather is (sadly) well beyond my control.

    Also: I'm unsteady on my feet at the moment. It would work out better for both of us if you'd sit still while I walk past you - the last thing either of us wants or needs is for me to take a header and actually LAND on you...

    Yours,

    The substitute food giver
     
  3. Twik

    Twik New Member

    I'm so glad to see news from Sophie and Matilda, as well as Loki.

    Spencer says he hopes it doesn't get too hot, because otherwise baking his buns on his Electric Hotspot (tm) won't be as much fun. Maybe Sister will put on the a/c for him to do it.
     
  4. Amara

    Amara New Member

    I too love hearing from Sophie and Matilda--and all the other feline beauties!
     
  5. Kindler

    Kindler Active Member

    Yeah, I'd agree. Anything cat worthy is good.
     
  6. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire

    Dear Sophie,

    Murdering your servants means you get less food. Remember that.

    Dashing under my feet on the stairs I am used to. Doing it in such a way that you stop right where I was trying to recover my footing? You should be grateful I missed stepping on you. I also missed the stair.

    Unfortunately, I did not miss the rest of the stairs, nor the hall cabinet at the bottom. My head made quite a nice clunk on that, which you probably did not hear as you were long gone by that point. I don't remember the next few minutes clearly but, no, your other servant was not paying enough attention to you. He was, unforgiveably, checking if I was still conscious instead of giving you skritches.

    Joke's on you. If I am limping it means your other catslave gets to feed you. And he only gives you the cheap food. Learn from this.

    Regards,
    Tirial
    P.S. You trying to knead the bruises away overnight does result in Mum saying unprintable things, unsuitable for a kitty of your tender years.
     
  7. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire

    Dear strange black cat,

    Please stop wandering into our house. Sophie and Matilda are going to kill you.

    And hearing jangles from odd locations is disturbing. I thought we had a ghost!

    Regards,
    Mum
     
  8. CatInASuit

    CatInASuit Administrator Staff Member

    Dear Sophie - How?

    How did you manage to get outside when the doors are closed, the windows are closed and the curtains and blinds are drawn?

    How did you manage to wind up sitting outside in the dark, where as a black cat we are so unlikely to see you?

    Please, please don't do it again.

    A pair of very fraught servants.

    PS: Be glad your mum can hear you through double glazing
     
  9. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    Dear Loki

    Dude. What is the deal?! Meowing and yowling like your worst enemy is hanging out in your garden blowing raspberries at you would be bad enough if there was actually something there.

    But there isn't.

    All you can see is your own reflection you goofball.

    Knock it off.

    Yours

    The substitute foodgiver

    PS Yes, I was up late last night. I'm an adult. I'm allowed to do that some times.
     
    Bookangel likes this.
  10. Kindler

    Kindler Active Member

    Do all cats do that with their reflection, I mean, treat them as if they were the enemy?
     
  11. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    Put it this way: Loki is our fifth cat and he's the first to have a problem with reflections. At least two of ours used to actively admire themselves in mirrors!

    I suspect that as time progresses Loki will get a bit better about this - he has at leas stopped reacting to the imaginary cat in the refrigerator door (!) - but listening him do the whole angry-scared song and dance while he learns this lesson is...trying and heartbreaking because he also won't let his humans cuddle him and sooth him. (He's a former long-time stray. He has...issues!)
     
  12. CatInASuit

    CatInASuit Administrator Staff Member

    Stephen used to be actively distracted by the mirror. If only so he could admire his whiskers and then preen to perfection before going off to cause more havoc.

    I can sympathise about adopting strays, they can come with a lot of baggage and need careful nurturing.
     
    athersgeo and MarmaladesMom like this.
  13. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    Definitely. I was absolutely delighted when, four months in from adoption I realised Loki had stopped trying to walk down the hall in front of me in a sort of a u shape to protected his rear end from kicks (that were never going to come from us, but that he'd clearly learned to expect elsewhere), and he has stopped utterly inhaling his food like it's his last meal. So...we're getting there. He may never be a properly socialised lap cat, but he knows he's got a good home, regular meals and plenty of cushy places to sleep and sometimes that's all you can do.

    And on that note

    Dear Loki

    Taking revenge on the blackbirds by catching one of their young fledglings is NOT a good idea. It will likely get you pecked and the sparrows will laugh at you again.

    (Granted I'm no longer questioning if you're actually a cat, but still...)

    Yours

    The substitute food giver
     
    Mine all mine and Bookangel like this.
  14. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire

    Rescue cats can take so long to settle in. Sophie took nearly two years before she decided that being picked up wasn't so bad and we weren't evil cat eating monsters, and she actually quite liked strokes. and waking me up by sitting on my head and clawing my face no matter what I did to dissuade her. Which brings me to...

    Dear Sophie,

    Congratulations on settling once and for all whether you or Granny Matilda have the faster paw reflex. It is Matilda, by a country lightyear.

    I was woken by the thump of a cat on my head, opened one eye to see what was what. The next thing I saw was a black paw incoming for my eye, claws out. Before I could react, what with the weight of cat on my head, there was a tabby intercepting blur and the black paw was swiped it out of the way. Yeah, your granny hits hard. She also sleeps by my head and triggered like a landmine.

    You'll be glad to know that as you fled the bedroom she looked at me, lowered her head back down, and went back to sleep. She had only moved the one paw.

    Regards,
    Mum.
    P.S. Matilda got tuna that morning...if she hadn't reacted, it could have been nasty.
     
    MarmaladesMom and athersgeo like this.
  15. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    Dear Mum

    Age and experience beats youth and enthusiasm every time.

    Regards

    Matilda

    PS Prawns for dinner?
     
    Mine all mine and MarmaladesMom like this.
  16. CatInASuit

    CatInASuit Administrator Staff Member

    Dear Mum,

    Prawns, not Prawn Crackers.

    Wait. Is that Duck? Nom, nom, nom.

    Matilda

    This is why I have noodles.
     
    athersgeo likes this.
  17. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire

    Dear Sophie,

    I admire your ambition:
    - Spot something out the window? check.
    - Crouch? check
    -Wiggle bottom? check.
    - Make growling chattering noises? Cheak
    - Ready to catch your prey? Check, check, check.

    Sadly I think the low-flying 747 might be a bit out of your league. If you did catch it I dread to think what you'd do with it.

    Regards,
    Mum
     
    athersgeo likes this.
  18. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    Dear Loki

    While you might not be much of a hunter, your ability to defend the raspberry canes from the local pigeons is first rate. Keep it up and there'll be fresh chicken and Dreamies in your future.

    (Of course, if you actually CATCH one of these flying rats you won't need any treats...)

    Regards

    The substitute food giver
     
    Kindler and Mine all mine like this.
  19. Kindler

    Kindler Active Member

    Given all the nasty things those feathered rats contain, chasing them off is the smarter thing.
     
  20. CatInASuit

    CatInASuit Administrator Staff Member

    Dear Sophie,

    Please don't ever do it again.

    Please don't shoulder barge the window open in the upstairs bedroom in pursuit of a bird and fall out 15 feet onto the patio.

    You may try to convince us you are ok, but the unsteady gait and the bleeding lip are proof you didn't just walk out the back door instead.

    Yes, you will get rushed to the vet and spend a while there, including X-rays as they check you over and find that the split lip and slight muscle strain is about it.

    I so hope this is not 1 down, 8 to go and that you are indeed a lucky black cat.
     

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