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Holding open a door

Discussion in 'Time for Tea' started by Kindler, May 30, 2018.

  1. Kindler

    Kindler Active Member

    Ok - this one has been bugging me for a while, because depending on the person you are with, you can get completely different answers.

    Simple question: When do you hold open a door for someone?

    There seems to be one group of people that will happily stand by the door and wait until I open it, and another group who are insistent that they do not need the door being held open for them at all, even if they have an armful of paperwork and are juggling three cups of tea, but they will kindly manage thank you very much.

    Now, I will hold open doors or go through them first depending on what's easiest and seems polite and generally try to ignore it, but I was wondering if there was any actual guidance on what is the correct thing to do.

    Failing that, any other suggestions would be useful.
  2. Pattycake

    Pattycake Member

    For me, it's distance from the door. If I am close, it's nice if they hold the door. Same if I am going through first, if they are close. Doesn't matter if it's a man or woman Those that complain about the door being held, they have issues! I don't understand why people get upset over someone doing something kind for them.
  3. Honeybee42

    Honeybee42 Member

    I think that's about the best you can do--the only "rule" I really know is that the person traveling in the direction of the door's swing should go first.

    But I also agree that if someone gets upset if I hold the door, it just means that is a miserable, sour person, and I try to not keep thinking about it.
  4. PageTurner

    PageTurner Member

    I've never understood why people complain about someone opening a door for them. I have never been in or seen a situation in which someone held open the door because they were trying to send a rude message. I think it's something that's only ever done out of politeness, or at least a habit of politeness.

    I think you should always go out of your way to open the door for someone who is elderly and/or has their hands full. If they get upset about it, that's on them. I have been in situations plenty of times where I would've loved to have someone hold the door open for me because I was trying to push a heavy door open with a stroller. Even if someone can "manage" opening the door themselves, there's no denying that they can more easily manage walking through an open door.

    I always make sure to do it with a smile, just to make sure no one gets the wrong message.
  5. Kindler

    Kindler Active Member

    Thanks, useful comments and it's nice to know I'm not doing anything too dumb.

    Although the most amusing one recently was three of us at the door, all wanting to be unfailing polite and open the door for the others. This lasted as a minute of polite discussion until someone came through the door from the other direction and held it open for us leaving us all looking a little guilty. :oops:
    PageTurner likes this.
  6. Angel

    Angel Munificent Critic

    I seem to always have doors opened for me and I always try to be appreciative of the effort spent by the person in doing so. If someone is going out of their way to do something nice, the least you can do is be grateful.

    Except to those people who insist on trying to hold the door open for you even if they are several feet away down the corridor and heading in the opposite direction, but just have to be a gentleman, notice me I'm a gentleman, doing gentlemanly things for you, why won't you appreciate my gentlemanly act.

    For them I grit my teeth and force a smile.
  7. Jackie

    Jackie Member

    It can be annoying when someone does that even when you're heading in their direction. I appreciate the kindness of their action but it makes me feel like I have to hustle my way to the door so that they don't have to stand there for too long. It doesn't annoy me if I have my hands full and it's obvious to them that I will have some trouble with the door, but otherwise...it's just a hassle for all parties involved.

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