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Dear Cat...

Discussion in 'Life in General' started by tirial, May 9, 2018.

  1. Bookangel

    Bookangel Administrator Staff Member

    Is Sophie alright?
  2. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire

    Since she's trying to climb out of the window again, I think so... Daft moggy!
    Pattycake likes this.
  3. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    Yikes! Poor Sophie. (And doubly poor owners) - though I'm glad she's all right.

    Dear Loki

    I know I'm normally on the other side of the bed so you can use this side as your own personal springboard, but it's hot this side of the bed was cool.

    Thank you for not actually using my face as a springboard instead. That was a spectacular mid-air change of direction and I do appreciate it!

    Maybe hop on the bed from further down next time, just to be on the safe side?

    The substitute food giver
    Mine all mine and Kindler like this.
  4. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire

    Dear cats,
    I know it is hot, but when a thunderstorm results in you both lying unmoving by a windowsill unmoved by the thunder that's right overhead, I know it is too hot.
  5. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire

    Dear Sophie,
    It's nice to be needed.
    It is not so nice to be kneaded at three a.m.with claws out. I know this is the time you think It is cool enough to be fed, but injuring me so I have to plaster up scratches first will slow down your acquisition of food.
    Regards, Mum
  6. CatInASuit

    CatInASuit Administrator Staff Member

    Dear Sophie,

    While we were minding our own business, there was a sound like the largest ever balloon slowly expiring in the house as the wind whistled through a puncture hole.

    It's was only after a dash round we realised you had decided to knead on a vacuum packed set of fabrics and caused the problem.

    This would also account for why you were dashing round the house as if the world was ending.

    We now have to decide what to do with the re-inflated vacuum pack, which has now lost it's airtight seal, while comforting you at the same time.

    Confused as heck at the noise.
  7. jessica

    jessica Citizen of Logres

    She's stopped hunting USB drives:whistle:? Moved onto larger prey, then::rofl::?
  8. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    Dear Loki

    I'm sorry you're feeling poorly, and yes, your activities did make it really easy to spot that there was a problem.


    Dude. Peeing on the bed? Twice?!

    Next time, choose the bathtub. We'll still notice (trust me!) and it's a lot easier to clean up.

    The substitute foodgiver

    PS At least you missed the clean laundry

    PPS Please be a good boy and take your meds
  9. CatInASuit

    CatInASuit Administrator Staff Member

    Poor Loki, living up to his namesake no doubt.

    Dear Matilda,

    Since when did you learn to Hypo-purr on a wavelength that will put me to sleep.

    It's difficult to read a book in bed, when you sneak up and purr, leaving me to wake up 20 minutes later wondering what happened.
  10. jessica

    jessica Citizen of Logres

    o_OPeeing in the bath is the good optiono_O? K.:up::confused:
  11. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    Yup - much easier to clean than a mattress. I mean, you can use water and disinfectant on a bath!

    Did I mention it was a double bed and the little sod peed right in the middle. through two layers of duvet, fleece, sheets, mattress topper and into the mattress?!

    A week on, he seems to be back on form so I think he's healing up nicely. Fingers crossed that we don't get a repeat performance - if nothing else, my spine won't cope with another night on the couch!

    And on another note:

    Dear Loki

    Please stop taking lumps out of us because you keep catching yourself in our glasses.

    We promise that the other cat you're seeing in the reflection is you - not some interloper who needs to be put in his place.

    Seriously, there isn't enough antiseptic for your antics.

    The substitute food giver contemplating buying shares in Elastoplast and Dettol
  12. CatInASuit

    CatInASuit Administrator Staff Member

    I have always found that cat owners have two things in common.

    1. A vast and surprising set of unexplained scratches
    2. Bottles and bottles of antiseptic.

    @athersgeo - so how is little Loki doing this side of the New Year? :)
  13. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    *eyes hand which bears the marks of the latest tussle*

    Simultaneously getting more friendly and more anti-social. He also isn't much of a Pink Floyd fan, which is a pity...

    How are Sophie and Matilda doing?
  14. CatInASuit

    CatInASuit Administrator Staff Member

    It's winter. Matilda just wants somewhere warm with access to food.

    Sophie wants the outside temperature to be turned up and the outside water from sky to be turned off. Although now the birds are back and nesting, she has a new hobby...
    athersgeo likes this.
  15. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    Dear Loki

    Gluten free bread is:
    1) Expensive
    2) Barely fit for human consumption (though I should note it's improved dramatically in the time I've been GF but I still pine for a good crusty loaf fresh from the bakery!)

    You notice that there is no third option on that list.

    That means that it is not intended to be supplementary cat food. (Actually judging by the mess on the floor I think you came to that conclusion as well, but only after you'd tried it.)


    That was my breakfast, you know.


    The hungry substitute food giver
  16. CatInASuit

    CatInASuit Administrator Staff Member

    Dear Matilda,

    We never took you for a long term planner. You always seemed to have the attention span of a...oh...a butterfly...floating past...where was I again...

    And yet, you finally achieved a goal, although it may have been unintentional, in that the washing machine has finally succumbed to you.

    Slowly taking action over seven years until finally, one day, it can take no more and dies a death in mid wash, spilling water all over the floor. The post mortem showing the pump has been clogged completely, totally and utterly by your fur.

    And beyond repair.

    A new one has now taken it's place and I'm sure you have gone back to waiting and plotting.

    Only time will tell.


    Those who had to clean the kitchen...
    athersgeo likes this.
  17. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    Dear Loki

    Do the words obligate carnivore mean anything to you?

    First it was the gluten free bread. Now it's the left over broccoli. Seriously, dude, what is it with the late night kitchen raids on food stuffs you do not like or eat?!

    We're going to be finding broccoli florets for days, aren't we *sigh*


    The substitute food giver
    CatInASuit likes this.
  18. CatInASuit

    CatInASuit Administrator Staff Member

    Dear Loki,

    Don't worry, our food giver forgot to cover up the ice cream tub between servings.

    Then they complained when I gave it back to them on the bed.

    Their loss,

    athersgeo likes this.
  19. athersgeo

    athersgeo New Member

    Dear Sophie

    I am master food thief.

    Substitute food give left bacon and egg under the netty thing. I figured out how to get the netty thing off and got bacon and egg while she was out.

    (Got told off but ignored that part)


    (Regurgitated ice cream on the bed...I think I'm grateful for small mercies here - and investing in a new/better food shield!)
    CatInASuit likes this.
  20. CatInASuit

    CatInASuit Administrator Staff Member

    Dear Loki,

    I always go looking on their plate to see if they have good gooshie that should belong to me. If I am lucky I can see the plate before they notice me.

    athersgeo likes this.

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