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Fanfic Ending Everything (Worm, Cauldron, fic)

Discussion in 'Scribblings' started by PuzzleRaven, July 1, 2018.

  1. PuzzleRaven

    PuzzleRaven Member

    Last edited by a moderator: July 19, 2018
  2. Threadmarks: Prologue

    PuzzleRaven Member

    Prologue: 15th May 2011

    The video passed one billion views in the first hour. The servers crashed, but by then it had been copied, duplicated, reached the major news networks across the globe. Watched and re-watched, speculation on what it meant, on what had actually happened, was running rampant. Only two things could be known for sure.

    For the second time, Scion had spoken.

    And Legend had fired.

    Leviathan had retreated, it was true. He had paused in that bizarre moment when Scion had ceased his assault on the Endbringer, had turned his expressionless gaze to the top of an office block. That moment when the Triumvirate had paused, Legend and Alexandria looking to that same roof, Eidolon staggering as the tidal wave against his force field abruptly dropped to nothing. And then Scion spoke and Legend fired, obliterating the rooftop and the three storeys below it. Leviathan had reached the edge of the bay by then, dove into the water and near instantly vanished. The water in the city began to drain back to normal levels and the rain began to ease. As Eidolon, battered and befuddled, flew to join his colleagues, Scion watched the space above the rooftops for a heartbeat. Then he was gone. Reports came in later of a school bus saved, a lost child returned, and heroism as usual resumed.

    Leaving the world with fifteen seconds of video, leaked from a Ward’s camera phone, and a frantic debate over four short words.
  3. Kindler

    Kindler Active Member

    Hey cool, new Scribblings :)

    I really need to go and look this one up properly, I've heard bits about it, but it might help understand the story.

    Is this a long one or a short one?
  4. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire Scribe

    If you're looking for Worm it's at: Worm Just watch for the 1 million words+ length!
  5. Threadmarks: Chapter 1

    PuzzleRaven Member

    Chapter 1: 16th May

    "’You will help me.’" Dr. Mother said, in a white room somewhere other. "What did it mean by that?"

    "Who was it talking to?" Eidolon asked, his mask on the table in front of him out. "Legend?”

    "No." The other Triumvirate member was staring at the frozen shot on the wall, Scion caught mid- speech. He almost started as he realised they were waiting for him to answer. "No, there was something else on that rooftop."

    "I've pulled all the tapes I can find. There are no clear angles on it, but Dragon's cameras gave the best footage and they saw nothing," Doctor Mother said, sceptically.

    "It was there," Alexandria said, "I saw it too. It wasn't clear, but it looked like a person, or it was forming into one."

    "And then Scion said 'you will help me' and Legend obliterated it," Dr. Mother said to Alexandria, who nodded. "That will be easy for the P.R.T., to spin, at least."

    "I have my people on it now. Scion asked for help, Legend helps, Leviathan retreats. Handled correctly it will improve our ratings and reduce the perception of Scion's invulnerability." Alexandria looked at Number Man for confirmation, who nodded once precisely. It was rare for Cauldron to call a full meeting. This warranted it.

    "Scion has taken no action to contradict the narrative. The numbers say he will not." Dr. Mother nodded as her bodyguard shifted slightly in her seat.

    “Make the statement,” she said, making a note. "Which brings us to the core issue. Why did Legend fire?" All eyes round the table turned to the hero.

    "I –" he stumbled on his words, knowing the table was waiting on him, but without a good answer. "I don't know. I just reacted."

    "And if Scion asks for help, you provide it?" Eidolon asked cynically.

    "He wasn't asking me," Legend said, his voice cutting desipte his best attempt to keep it level. He hardly cared. "And we know there's only one thing that Scion would want help with."

    "Removing his allies would seem wise," Dr. Mother said, "But are we certain that wasn't what he wanted?"

    "You think that thing would have answered 'Fuck you'?" Eidolon suggested bluntly. The green-clad hero had been on edge since the start of the meeting. Legend quietly suspected the man was jealous. Eidolon was undisputedly the most powerful hero on the planet, but it was Legend who everyone was discussing right now; Legend, who Scion had chosen to speak to. That had to grate on the other hero.

    "We don't know." Dr. Mother was still calm. "We don't know what the target was." Legend drew breath, and looked at Alexandria. They had discussed this before, but it made it no easier to say. He braced himself.

    "I think it was another entity. It reminded me of the dead one. I thought if it had any chance to gain power at all, we didn't stand a chance."

    "I think he was correct," Alexandria said, backing him up before anyone else could speak. "You didn't see it. There was something half-formed there." There was a stir at the table.

    "Is it possible that ours-" Legend shook his head, not waiting for Dr. Mother to finish.

    "No. We checked." It had been the first thing they had done, still battered and soaked from fighting Leviathan. Seeing the flesh garden twisted, silent, and dead, had brought Legend the first relief he had felt since he fired. Alexandria had felt the same way. One god-like entity trying to destroy humanity was quite enough.

    "So another then, if we assume you are both correct."

    "If you're not, Legend just obliterated some poor Case 53," Eidolon said, rather snidely, but Dr. Mother took the comment in stride.

    "No Case 53s or Cauldron capes were in the region. I checked the records."

    "So Legend fired on an unknown something, possibly another entity, and yet Scion hasn't acted against us," Alexandria said, "so we might have done exactly what he wanted."

    "Or it isn't dead," Number Man suggested, and there was a hush. "Our agent reported in before the meeting. At the exact time the disturbance began, his second timeline collapsed. Issues have been reported by other Thinkers. I myself noted a sudden and unprecedented shift in the numbers, and they have not reverted.” Legend considered if he should have fired sooner, and realised it would likely have made no difference. Doctor Mother nodded.

    "Alexandria, manage the P.R.T. The Chief Director will be needed more than Alexandria.”

    “Send my double to Brockton Bay then. We need Alexandria to be visible, and rescue efforts are well within her abilities. Legend, you’ll be needed at Brockton Bay,” Alexandria commented, standing up. Legend stood, tense.

    “I agree. I'll arrange for our assets in the area to monitor for anything, and see what less-official resources can be brought to bear." Doctor Mother said.

    “And that’s it?” Legend said, his voice stone-cold.

    “Do we have time to discuss anything else now?” Doctor Mother asked, quite calmly.

    “If I find out you’ve lied to me about anything else, we’re done.” He struggled to keep his voice level, not to let the anger take control. Shouting and raging would be too easily dismissed by the monsters, his colleagues, in front of him. “I will go public with everything.”

    “Now is not the time for the Triumvirate to be publicly divided,” Alexandria said, just as coldly.

    “So you said. That is the only reason I haven’t walked out.” He could feel his hands clenching into fists, his power rising as it presented options to strike at her. Eidolon was watching carefully, doubtless trading powers for something to take him down. If he hit first, he could take the green-clad so-called hero out before the power had reached full potential. But this was David, his colleague, who had had his back through fight after fight. He hesitated. “You all knew. And not one of you told me.”

    “We don’t have time for -” Doctor Mother started.

    “Shut up.” Alexandria cut her off without even looking at her. The superheroine removed her helmet for the first time since the fight, setting it down on the table with a quiet click, and met his gaze with one real and one artificial eye.

    “We needed one of us who didn’t know. We needed someone who still hoped so they could inspire it in others. If you had known the final enemy was Scion, could you have been the inspiration for so many? Knowing they were just going to die, could you have recruited and trained them?”

    “Every. Endbringer. Fight.” He met her gaze and Alexandria flinched first.

    “I am sorry. We should have trusted you.” He drew a breath, relaxed.

    “No more secrets?”

    “We don’t have time for them,” Doctor Mother said. “Now you know, can we count on you?”

    “I shot it.” He laughed dryly. If he had known, he could have shot faster, possibly killing it. Having to learn in the field, because his friends had not trusted him, had stalled him at the critical moment.

    “Understood. Remember we need to find the new creature quickly.” Doors appeared in the walls as the meeting ended and the conspirators hurried off to their assigned roles.
  6. Threadmarks: Chapter 1 cont.

    PuzzleRaven Member


    The roof of the car dented as something heavy crashed down on top of it. Amy Dallon screamed, jolted out of her exhausted stupor as Carol stamped on the brakes. A black shape rolled down the shattered windshield and catapulted into the road in front of them as the car skidded on the wet street. The body tumbled through the debris, struck a shattered bollard and came to an abrupt stop, ominously still.

    "You hit someone?" Amy said incredulously, blinking to clear her bleared vision. Carol shook herself, staring at the limp body in the street.

    "No, there was no one there!" she insisted. Amy was already unbuckling her seat belt. Carol reached across to catch her daughter’s arm.

    "Where are you going?" she demanded, her eyes already picking out the spines and blades that made up parts of the body lying in the road.

    "To offer first aid." Amy pulled out of Carol's grasp and slammed the door on her mother’s warning of 'but it might not be safe'. Running across to the body, she knelt down and tried to turn it over. There was a risk she’d make the injuries worse but screw it, she was Panacea. Her powers would let her cure any damage she caused, once she was up to healing again.

    The crash victim was female, tall, covered in something that might have been plastic, leather, or its skin, she couldn't tell, and as it rolled onto its back the extent of the injuries became clear. They had not been caused by the car. They could not have been.

    One arm wasn't there, severed at the shoulder with knotted black tendrils of that bizarre skin covering the amputation site. There was no blood seeping from the wound: either the skin was containing it or it had plugged the arteries. The torso and hip looked as though a shark had bitten it, right rib cage gone, lung and kidney missing if this thing had human biology, pelvis on the right gone, and down to the hip joint where more of the bizarre skin was all that held the severed leg to the torso.

    “Fuck,” she said quietly under her breath. Healing anything while she was exhausted and concussed was unwise, or she would still be back at the hospital. Not healing this though would be a death sentence for the patient.

    "Careful, Amy." Carol was approaching slowly, a blade of light forming in one hand. "It looks like a villain."

    "Endbringer truce," she retorted, taking a perverse delight in Carol's discomfort. Cautiously she laid her fingertips on the black, leather-like, skin. A flood of information rushed into her mind as she used her power. A separate organism, symbiotic and of animal intelligence, lacking even the basic functions of life, unable to sustain it without its partner. Fascinated by the bizarre biology she pressed her fingers closer. The material withdrew obediently beneath her fingers, slipping back under corpse-blue skin. The biology of its partner was mostly human, but hideously injured. Amy could sense the symbiote wrapped around the failing organs, sustaining them. It was similar to a human brain but not, the DNA linked to something in the same way a parahuman’s Coronas would be, but in this alien brain there was neither a Corona Pollentia or Corona Gemma. She detected a second symbiote, mingled with the flesh of the left shoulder, nerve fronds digging into the vertebra and merging with the spinal cord. If this was a parahuman, could the symbiotes be serving as the source of power?

    "What happened to her?" Carol said, interrupting her thoughts. Amy heard a whisper from the body, puppeteered by its own symbiote.

    "Leviathan." Amy repeated the whisper louder for Carol to hear, suppressing her doubts. Leviathan was a water creature. It simply did not leave burns like these. Before her mother could protest, she reached into the bizarre biology to heal it. Following the pattern of the symbiote’s fixes, she turned its mass into new organs, filling out a lung as the symbiote formed the framework.

    Somehow the thing was co-operating. As the symbiote sensed what she was doing, it responded, letting her stretch her power in ways she had never considered. Drawing from the energy stored in those twisted strands of DNA, it was generating extra biomass from nowhere, exactly where she needed it. She sculpted the substance, new ribs, a socket for the shattered hip, new veins to reconnect the leg, which was still incredibly alive, an arm regrowing from a cauterised stump. It drew on further stores of energy from other sources stored inside it but not part of it; a gun, a knife, a sword, all made of the same substance. All things that perhaps she could shape. As the arm finished, Amy pulled her hand back, trying not to think about the temptation. That way Nilbog lay.

    "Panacea?" Carol was still waiting, but the light in her hand had been replaced by a cellphone. Amy didn't have to ask to know that there was no signal.

    "I've done all I can here, but she needs a hospital." Carol nodded immediately. Amy hid her reaction. Carol would have taken any excuse to go back. She had not wanted to leave Dad’s bedside. After the roof caved in, the nurses had had to almost throw her out to get her to deal with Amy’s injury. After all, what was one injured adopted daughter compared to her husband?

    "Is it safe to move her?"

    "There's no spinal trauma. If we can get her into the car, it should be alright. Get a blanket." Carol nodded. Carefully Amy folded the patient's arms across her torso, wrapping her legs together in the blanket from the car. "You take her head, I'll get the legs. Lifting on three. One. Two. Three." They lifted the patient together, awkwardly sliding the heavy body on to the back seat. With difficulty they managed to get back into the car. The driver’s door barely closed over the bent frame, but with the city in ruins there was no help coming and no way to call for it. When the engine sputtered and started, Amy echoed Carol’s sigh of relief.

    "Will she recover?" Carol asked, squinting through the cracked windshield as she turned the car round to go back to the hospital.

    "I think so. She has unusual biology." Carol scowled, and Amy could guess what she was thinking. A superhero, a publicly known member of New Wave, hitting a villain with their car during an Endbringer truce could be a legal nightmare.

    The situation could still be saved, she knew. If they got the victim to a hospital quickly, after Panacea had done her concussed and exhausted best, it could be put down to an accident. Amy was very certain that was why Carol had followed her orders so compliantly. Cynically, she wondered what Carol would have done if there were no witnesses.

    She was too tired to think about it, and another thought kept intruding. How, in the middle of the battle against Leviathan, had a cape gone down with burn injuries clearly from a blaster? Someone out there had already violated the truce, and that was an unpleasant thought.


    The entity vaporised the fallen bridge with a single burst of golden light. An obstructive piece of rebar was thrown upwards, clear of the continent, so it could not impede the rescue. Its attention was elsewhere, on the enhanced simulation it was running. The precisely delivered audible trigger had been a necessary step, and refined the path to an improved conclusion. That conclusion, and a successful reunion, could be achieved within only a further thirty-four steps. A set time delay between the required actions could not be avoided, but as the entity considered its progress it could define its mood as:

    Mine all mine likes this.
  7. Mine all mine

    Mine all mine Member

    FIRST!! OK, to be constructive. This is going somewhere and I want to see where. Followed.
  8. Reader

    Reader Vile Critic

    I hate to be a bother, but could we have some threadmarks in here? Perhaps an index post with the wiki link? Now I know what I am reading, I am curious to see where this goes.
  9. jessica

    jessica Citizen of Logres

    Is there a quick reference for Worm:)? Worm is just depressing:((. I like this story, but I don't know the background:confused:.
  10. Bookangel

    Bookangel Administrator Staff Member

    You have threadmarks. With the new Reader mode, do you still need an index post? It takes some work to set up and maintain one.
  11. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire Scribe

    Worm Wiki

    This fanfic should probably have a spoiler warning as it spoils a major Worm plot point up front. Sadly for me with Worm, like Bablyon 5 and its pilot, I guessed one major twist from the early chapters so it wasn't exactly a shock when it happened.
  12. Bookangel

    Bookangel Administrator Staff Member

    I had not thought about the spoilers issue. I will add an index post for that, and update it if @PuzzleRaven can PM me a summary.
  13. skye

    skye Member

    I too have no idea who these people are. I am looking forward to finding out. Watched. Will this be on a regular Wednesday update schedule?
  14. porridge

    porridge Member

    Just pondering why the chapters get cut in half on ere n Mozzie?
  15. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire Scribe

    For me and Mozzie, it was the post length restriction. There's a 10,000 character hard limit coded into Xenforo. Anything longer doesn't load.
  16. atry

    atry Member

    Is there a way round that? It's not a problem, but it would be nice to see it in one piece.
  17. tirial

    tirial IT fixer extraordinaire Scribe

    No. It seems to be hardcoded in the database, and believe me, I looked.
  18. Threadmarks: Chapter 2

    PuzzleRaven Member

    Chapter 2: 16th May

    "Fuck you!" the patient screamed, sitting bolt upright in the hospital bed. Obviously frightened and confused, she looked around wildly. Her eyes were blinding white in the black face, no iris, no pupil, but she could obviously see. The monitoring contacts for the medical devices had not stuck well to the slick skin surface and ripped free. Alarms went off.

    "Ames! Are you all right?" The door banged back into the wall, nearly hitting Panacea in the small space. Glory Girl flew in, a foot above the floor, still in uniform from the fight against Leviathan.

    “Glad you left the hinges on this time. Close the door, Vicky,” Amy said, with tightly controlled patience as her patient tensed. Glory Girl hovered, turning a little sheepishly to the door and pushing it closed behind her.

    "Sorry. I heard a shout," she apologised. “I was worried.”

    "I'm fine, Vicky," Amy said, not paying much attention to her. She put a restraining hand on her patient’s arm, reaching out to calm her with her power by triggering the patient’s equivalent of dopamine. She couldn’t find one, not sure if the biology was really that alien, or if her concussion was interfering with her power. Rather than take a risk, she resorted to words instead, keeping her tone calm and reassuring.

    "Careful. You're in a hospital. How do you feel?" The patient looked at her blankly, and she tried again. "Can you tell me your name? I'm Panacea. I’m a healer." The patient's mouth moved, but no sound came out. The woman was still watching Glory Girl through narrowed eyes, ready for a fight. Amy moved into her line of sight.

    "Hey, it’s OK. This is just my sister," she said, more soothingly than she felt Vicky merited right now. Either the words or the tone helped, as the unknown cape looked from one to the other and began to relax. Vicky landed neatly on her toes, looking round the tiny space with interest.

    “This looks like a broom closet,” Vicky said, peering out of the small window that showed only a wall six feet away.

    “It was until I commandeered it.” There were no private rooms left, just cubicles, but if anyone saw Panacea here Amy knew she’d be whisked away to heal regardless of the risks. Emptying the broom closet had been a compromise from a hospital already terrified of liability if she aggravated her head wound.

    "Is this who mom hit? Does she speak English? What can-" Glory Girl asked, already moving on to the patient. Panacea waved a hand at her to shut up as she started to babble and the patient actually cringed.

    "One thing at a time. Yes, and I'm not sure she speaks at all. If you want to help, go and check the records to see if we can find out who she is."

    "Mom's doing that now," Glory Girl said, smirking as she leaned against the wall. "It must be the first time she's ever prayed she hit a hero." The cape on the bed was staring at them in incomprehension, and Amy sniggered. After everything that had happened today, anything that released a bit of tension was welcome. Anything to distract her from the thought of Flashbang, Dad, in the bed downstairs. She’d healed his body, but his brain…

    "And Aunt Sarah must be fit to be tied!" She forced a laugh and Victoria paled, subdued. Suddenly there was a feeling of something terrible, something she had forgotten. Her sister’s next words made it worse..

    "I'm sorry, you hadn't heard-"

    "Not Aunt Sarah." The bottom dropped out of Amy's world. "I thought-"

    "No, but Eric and Uncle Neil…" Vicky’s voice trailed off. Amy lowered her head, felt the tears start. She had known, she realised, but so much of the day was a blur of patient after patient, and then the roof caving in on her and it was so hard to think through the pain. Vicky put a hand on her shoulder, obviously torn between pulling her into a hug and disturbing the patient more. She was already reacting to Amy’s distress, her left fist flexing, and Amy raised her head as her power sensed a change.

    Something was moving under the woman’s skin as the second symbiote stirred. Cross-hatched black tubes were rising from the back of the arm and hand, lengthening forward as they parted, fleshy webbing growing between them like twisted fingers. The shoulder bulged tumourously as a translucent bulge pushed up, white light churning inside it. Thick veins grew under it, solidifying to supporting pipes as it lifted clear of the shoulder, giving the appearance it squatted on hooked legs for all it was part of her. Vicky choked, watching, her mouth open in horror as she stepped back instinctively and crouched for a fight. Her aura flared.

    Amy felt the fear centres in the patient’s brain spike, and her patient shot back against the headboard, fist closing convulsively. There was a thud as the bed hit the wall. Amy cried out, the bones in her hand shattering in the woman’s grip. Immediately the strange cape let go of her, as Glory Girl rocketed forward enraged. Amy threw herself in the way.

    “No, Vicky, she didn’t mean to! Look at her.”

    The cape had lifted her own hand, staring at Amy’s blood on it in unfeigned horror. She lifted her other hand, turned them over as if she had never seen them before, working the fingers as if they were something entirely new.

    “Ow, my fucking hand,” Amy swore through gritted teeth, and the thing looked up at them, eyes drifting to Amy’s hand. The thing, the monster, bit its lip and held its bloodied, unmutated, hand out. There was an odd range of expressions drifting over the ridged features as it ducked its head, almost apologetically.

    “Ames? Oh sh-” Amy turned, keeping her injured hand away from her sister’s well-intentioned but non-healing grasp.

    “Vicky, get me a bandage. Now.” Amy said, as reasonably as she could manage. She sat on the edge of the bed, keeping pressure on the wrist with her other hand. The cape shuffled forward on the bed, holding its hand out more insistently. “What, you want to crush the other one?” she snarked, perhaps a little unfairly, but damn it her hand hurt. Instead it lunged fast, laying slim, clawed, fingers across the wound. Amy yelped in surprise, tried to pull her hand back as the bones snapped back into place. She could feel veins regrowing, skin sealing itself over the cuts as her body repaired itself. It took a few seconds, but the hand looked as good as new.

    “Holy - Ames, it’s a biotinker,” Vicky muttered, and Panacea shook her head, putting her professional mask on as she assessed the repair.

    “No, I think it’s a healer.” Panacea lifted her hand, flexed it. It wasn’t even stiff but the fingers tingled with the memory of pain.

    “Another healer? Like you?”

    “She doesn’t use pain relief.” She was still shaking her fingers to get the last of the feeling out. “Don’t turn her loose on patients you don’t want dying of shock.”

    “But she can heal you.”

    “Better wait until I’m unconscious,” Amy felt oddly calm. It had been one too many shocks for the day and now she was just rolling with things, counting down the minutes until she could find a hospital bed and sleep.

    “Maybe she’ll improve with practice,” Glory Girl shrugged and then looked at her more closely."Ames, your head's stopped bleeding." Amy lifted a hand to the edge of the bandage, felt dried blood but no seeping. Carefully she unpicked the edge of the bandage and lifted it, crumbling away the blood underneath with her fingernail. The skin was smooth, and she found something tangled in her hair, pulling on it and trying not to yelp as it came unstuck.

    “My stitches?” she said incredulously, as she looked at the bloody thread. Carefully Amy stood up and took a few steps. Belatedly she realised that the headache had stopped as well. "I think the concussion's cured. I don't feel dizzy anymore." She looked at Vicky, who stared back with sudden desperate hope. Amy swallowed. "If she can fix brains, then -"

    "Dad!" Vicky exclaimed. Amy looked at her, eyes widening, then back at her patient-turned-healer.

    “But Carol....” she trailed off, her heart not in it. She had saved so many, but she could not even help her family. If there was even a chance….

    “Who cares? If we can get Dad back-” It was Victoria the daughter, not Glory Girl the heroine who was talking, no, who was pleading with Amy. She did not have to, not for this. Dean, Uncle Neil, Cousin Eric. Dad. So many losses. If they could save just one…Amy weakened. “It’s not like she can make it worse,” Victoria said, not even trying to sound reasonable, and Amy gave way. She always gave way. This time it was just for a good cause.

    “Well, she’s safe to move. We should tell the P.R.T.”

    “And they’ll want to approve her power and test it and Dad could die,” Victoria said, rushing for breath. She reached out to slide hands under the cape, who pulled away. Impatiently Victoria stood back, pointed at the floor in front of her. The cape swung her legs over the edge and stood. Her head brushed the lights, as Victoria looked up. The woman was taller than they had thought, inhumanly so.

    “I’ll carry you -” The cape stared at her. Glory Girl held out her arms in a bridle carry and floated. The cape looked sceptical. Amy stood up, and let her sister pick her up. The woman’s eyes widened in understanding as Glory Girl floated up and down before she put her sister down. Amy straightened her robes.

    “I’ll go up to the long-term wards, check the coast is clear and get the curtains closed.”

    “Phone me if it’s not.”

    “Phones are out. If I don’t have someone page you in ten minutes fly up to Dad’s window and bring her. Just don’t been seen.” Vicky nodded. Floating out of the window and up to the long-term wards was easy enough. With the lights knocked out by the tidal wave, she could manage that quite easily.
  19. Threadmarks: Chapter 2 cont.

    PuzzleRaven Member


    Panacea’s costume usually gave her something of an advantage in a hospital. Normally, when she spoke, people listened. In the aftermath of the Endbringer attack, that had vanished and while she had thought it would be bad, this was worse then she’d expected. People wanted far more than they listened and she had to struggle to avoid being pulled into consults, even with the blood in her hair and the bandage on her face.

    As she tried to get to the stairs, she found her way blocked, a clipboard thrust at her here, someone trying to drag her into a surgery there, the bedlam of doctors and nurses and patients and relatives clawing at her sleeve as if that would work the miracle. She gritted her teeth, biting down a shout of ‘Fuck you all, my father’s dying in here!’ knowing the backlash from Carol wasn’t worth it. Heroes didn’t act that way.

    “I have a patient to get to,” she tried to shout above the din, but it made it worse as other people realised she was back, and more joined the crowd. There were too many, pressed too tight, for her power to manage them all, for her to concentrate as they crowded her back.

    “P.R.T. Emergency!” The shout was right behind her ear, and she jumped as someone grabbed her arm. The crowd quieted, as she looked round, and up, to the trooper in full armour. His helmet was off, and she recognised him as one of the many P.R.T. affiliates she had healed. “Doctor Green requests immediate support.” The hospital code for staff handling a potentially violent situation registered, and she nodded. He took her arm, began to push forward through the crowd by main force as the civilians realised they were not going to get their miracles yet and began to disperse.

    “I have a patient I have to get back to,” she protested as he guided her through a side door. To her surprise this was not a ward, but a staff room with one occupant, a nurse out cold in a chair.

    “Is the patient dying?” the trooper asked, and she shook her head. Flashbang was in a coma. “Then you can take a minute for a drink and tell me what you’re doing back here.” Amy would have refused, knowing she had a deadline, but her legs sat down without her thinking about it. Exhaustion didn’t seem to be something their patient could fix. She took the can he offered, flipped the tab and downed it.

    “A cape fell onto Carol’s car,” she said. “Hurt from Leviathan.”

    “So you brought them back here and patched them up. All fixed?” He stopped, held up his hands in apology. “Sorry, you can’t answer that.”

    “Best not to. Monster capes are tricky.” She grimaced, realising what she might have let slip, and then pushed it aside. She didn’t know the guy well, didn’t know how much it was safe to tell him, but hell he was P.R.T. He’d know soon enough.

    “I heard nothing,” he said, reassuringly “but you are heading away from critical care.”

    “I wanted to check on my Dad.” He nodded, and she suspected from the faint smile he read more into her words than she intended. “Then I’ll get back to work.”

    ”Will you be OK getting to the ward?” She thought, nodded, and smiled. “Good. I’ll have a P.R.T. car and driver waiting for you at the rear when you’re ready to leave.”

    “Vicky can carry me,” she insisted, as the thin man opened the door for her, and then wondered if Carol’s car was still drivable after their frantic trip here.

    “I think after today, Vicky might want a lift too. It gives you options.” He rubbed his head, slipping his helmet back on. “I’ll escort you to the stairs. After everything you’ve done today, you’ve earned it. Don’t forget the P.R.T. are here to support heroes.” Panacea smiled. After everything, and it was a big everything – the Endbringer attack, her father in a coma, the roof caving in, the car accident, nearly being mobbed - it was good to be appreciated. She put her game-face on, ready to face the crowd.

    “I’ll tell Carol. Thank you for your help, Mr. Calvert.”
  20. Reader

    Reader Vile Critic

    You have tagged this asking for feedback and edits, so here is a cursory glance so far:
    Chapter One:
    desipite - despite
    You say "discussed this before" but before what? Probably the meeting but it may need to be more explicit.
    "So Legend fired on an unknown something, possibly another entity, and yet Scion hasn't acted against us," Alexandria said, "so we might have done exactly what he wanted." Two so's in one sentence. Could the second one be "which means"?

    Chapter One cont.
    First paragraph. Swap the first two sentences. "Amt Dallon screamed..." is a better hook.
    'Dented' doesn't carry much impact. Could you find something more dynamic? Put the reader in the car as the crash happens.
    The entity section isn't really clear, but this may be a fandom thing, and I trust it will tie up later.

    Chapter Two
    First section: is this omniscient or from Amy's POV? It starts with omni, but rapidly moves to Amy close-third. Pick one and stay with it.

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