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Author: Genre: Length: Novelette

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The Prince of Marseille, Jean-Baptiste, from France is sent to the University of Pennsylvania in America to finish his studies. Upon his return it has a been arranged for him to marry a princess from a nearby kingdom. Choosing to act as a struggling commoner during his time in America, he becomes John Stone. Soon after his arrives, he meets a beautiful lady, Aurora. He knew that he was already engaged to be married in his home country but he falls in love. But there were secrets that Aurora has kept from him as well. Can their love survive so many secrets?

Free on 30th Mar 24 - 3rd Apr 24
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The Prince of Marseille, Jean-Baptiste, from France is sent to the University of Pennsylvania in America to finish his studies. Upon his return it has a been arranged for him to marry a princess from a nearby kingdom. Choosing to act as a struggling commoner during his time in America, he becomes John Stone. Soon […]

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Reviewer: .


Prince Jean-Baptiste of Marseille is forced into an arranged marriage with Marcela, the princess of Monaco. After a couple of brief meetings, they fall deeply in love and he promises her that once he returns from America they will marry and rule together. On arriving in America, to study at university, he decides to hide his lineage and present himself as plain John Stone, to better find out how the little people live. It is on the university campus that he meets Aurora, the most beautiful girl studying there and whose parents are exceedingly rich, setting her social status as far above the main body of students including John. But John finds himself thinking about her constantly and, although she initially rejects him, she does agree to go on a date more out of curiosity than expectation. The date goes well, but shortly afterwards John is warned off by several people that he has no chance with Aurora as he is just a commoner. Knowing his heritage, he still resolves to continue seeing her, even in secret and still in the guise of a commoner. Surprisingly Aurora agrees to this, only for Aurora to reveal that she is to be married off by her father to someone else and there is no chance of a future relationship between her and John. This leaves John in the awkward position of having his own betrothed waiting for him in France as well as the secret of his own lineage and his wish to stay anonymous conflicting with his passion for Aurora. What is a poor prince to do.

Well, what to say about this historical romance. So, starting with our main character, Jean-Baptiste, it seems that he is happy to fall in love with a beautiful woman after a few meetings, while conveniently forgetting that he is already betrothed. These actions do not really paint him as the charming protagonist when he can pull his own royalty out of his back pocket to fix any situation, Pulp's "Common People" springs to mind. When it comes to travelling to America, he looks forward to the flight in Chapter One, then takes a boat in Chapter Two. His lineage might be a little suspect too as there is no royal family in France as they were all killed in the French Revolution, 200 years before the book takes place. On that note, though Marcela's parents are a Duke and Duchess of Monaco, yet Marcela is somehow a Princess. Then we get to Aurora who turns out to be an orphan under the control of her living father. I'm not quite sure how that works out, perhaps she is adopted, but I didn't find any mention as to how this arose. The rest of the characters are either refined European nobility or upper class Americans who look down on commoners and it appears obvious which way the author would prefer the reader to look.

It does not help that the writing is in no way favourable to the book, with simplistic sentences, plot holes and, for myself although others may disagree, no feeling or romance within the pages. The characters are more caricatures with no soul for their thoughts and feelings seem completely devoid of sense or self-awareness of what story they are in. Everything is neatly laid out with the same twist for both main characters, but with no challenge or struggle that is not easily dismissed. A story of rich people falling in love and using position and power to do what they like just leaves me cold.

Finally, this story is in very dire need of a good editor. There are a issues with speech, extra speech-marks, an extra parenthesis that slipped in and spelling mistakes. It would also have helped to catch some of the more egregious plot issues that pop up.

Overall, this is in need of a heavy edit and a little bit of research to fix the problems with this story. It is a shame because the plot is the perfect fit for a short story. Noble heads to foreign land and hides his parentage falling in love with a person before revealing their true self. It worked for Coming to America. It is a real shame this retelling does not reach even the barest heights and I could not honestly recommend it due to all the flaws it contains.


Rating: TBC



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