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Free on 4th - 8th Dec 16
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  Rajesh got alerted by the information that the Maulana gave a CD and some papers to Albert. Rajesh prepared a note about Albert and emailed to Shrivastava in India from an internet cafe. 

Free on 4th - 8th Dec 16
View on Amazon.co.uk

Reviews:

"Action fans may enjoy it, but there's nothing here to really raise it above the average action story."

Reviewer: .


Visiting a friend, Felix's holiday is rudely upset when Owen is murdered and he is left with the evidence that Owen was killed to conceal. Who can he trust? Criminals, police and politicians are all after him, and he doesn't know the area at all.

There was nothing wrong with the writing, but this story took a while to drawn me in. It has a slow start, with a man arriving on a plane, focusing on all the little irritations of travel, and then going to a bar with a friend, and I had trouble caring. His friend's murder immediately picked up the pace and it moves straight into high paced action. The action scenes are good, but brief and don't seem to chain. It is more a series of linked scenes. Camille and Felix aren't really developed as characters, but we don't really see enough of them as it is a short story.

And I have no idea why it is called Ghosts on the Sand. There's no ghosts, no mention of ghosts literally or figuratively, and sand only occurs when they are running down the beach.

The formatting and grammar are good. I have a minor nitpick with the speech punctuation, which is incorrect as it misses fullstops or commas inside the quotes. There's are also some missing apostrophes e.g. in "Owens door" in the second paragraph of chapter 3. There are also a few typos e.g. "alcohol in is system" "cruelness" instead of cruelty. I was thrown when the book, which is normally told in close third person from Felix's point of view, shifted to third person omniscient for the first paragraph of chapter 8.

Action fans may enjoy it, but there's nothing here to really raise it above the average action story.

Update 26th December: The new title of "Foiled" makes a lot more sense than "Ghosts in the sand."

Rating: 2



"Thank you for brightening up my morning with a very unfortunate phrase. Now, please, please, get a proof-reader. "

Reviewer: .


Rajash is a detective/secret-agent off on his next mission for the Indian government. For readers familiar with British texts, think an Indian James Bond: action adventure with a girl in every port.

And I will confess up front I didn't finish this. I didn't get passed chapter 5.

I don't want to go on about the writing, but suffice it to say a proofer, not an editor is needed. The author's English is much better than my Urdu, but...

The writing style is unusual with very short staccato sentences that don't also follow logically. I actually found it difficult to get into the story because there isn't a natural flow from one sentence to the next. The speech punctuation is odd, with speech included in the body of paragraphs rather than starting on a new line no matter who is speaking. Some sections are oddly phrased, for example with the word "the" omitted or commas in the wrong place to create a whole new meaning. For example on the first page: "He opened a soda bottle with the opener and poured in a whisky glass to the brim." It took me a moment to re-parse the sentence and realise he wasn't pouring the whisky glass into the bottle. Also, expect repetition - if something can be said in one sentence, why not say it slightly differently in the following two? - and tenses shifting from past to present and vice versa.

...as I said I will confess I didn't finish this. I was laughing too hard. During a confrontation with a customs agent it is important to note that "a slip of the tongue" does not mean the same as "almost slipped his tongue".

This is not an endorsement of the book, but thank you for brightening up my morning.

Now, please, please, get a proof-reader.

Rating: DNF



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