Dying to Be Beautiful Mysteries

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"Dying to Be Beautiful" Mysteries: Without a Head

Last Free on: 23rd Sep 18
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...Great idea but the result needs an editor and fact-checker very badly indeed. ...

Great idea but the execution needs an editor and fact-checker to become a good book.

The feeling I get from the writing is unpolished. There are many places where an editor could have tightened things up, or where the plot is abandoned for character background for pages at a time. Exclamation marks crop up in some odd places, and occur frequently outside text.

There are a few show don’t tell issues, namely large amounts of telling and unnecessary exposition. For example, instead of entire paragraphs telling us what some one replies each time he is asked a question, why not have someone ask the question, and let him give the answer. This book needs an editor, and I do not just mean in the nonsensical sentence way. On local 182 pg 10 and 228 pg 14 we are told about her naming her Irish setter Watson, but the events where it happens are years apart. Pg 16 has someone say the same statement two ways, which reads oddly.

Procedural fans should give it a miss, when the P.I is asked to take the fingerprints by the police and bag body parts, adherence to realism isn’t going to be a focus in the book. I didn’t finish it.

Rating: DNF
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