A new twist on the tired old undead myth. Vampire humor. Romance. Taquitos! Fat Vampire has it all.
What if, when you became a vampire, you were frozen in your same body forever?
When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin finally meets a co-worker who doesn’t make fun of him, it’s just his own bad luck that tech guy Maurice turns out to be a two thousand-year-old vampire.
And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it’s just Reginald’s own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he’s become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to “heal” to his corpulent self for all of eternity.
As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire — too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead — he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race.
Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife’s lemons into tasty lemon danishes.
PRAISE FOR FAT VAMPIRE
“Truly original and a very fun, witty take on the “done to death” vampire story.”
“If Eric Northman ever gets staked, Reginald Baskin will be my new favorite vampire.”
“Got the book just before bed… Next thing I knew it was the wee hours of the night… It was impossible to put down.”
It’s time to redefine horror novellas and free vampire books! Fat Vampire is equal parts satire, horror, and adventure. Unbuckle your belt and have your fill!
"a nice take on the modern vampire myth - and in this reviewer's opinion, twilight had it coming. "
Reviewer: Reader for Bookangel.
Reginald knew being overweight would be the death of him, but never expected it to be the undeath. Now a rather overweight vampire in a world where most candidates are svelt and slim (and train to get that way) he's far from the ideal. Vampires don't tolerate the weak and Reginald and his long-suffering sire find themselves in the firing line and listed for execution. Survival depends on whether Reginald can do something no vampire would even be capable of.
It's not a bad book, and a much needed and utterly irreverent look at vampires. Generally well-written with distinctive and memorable lead characters. As a story it is enjoyable, original, and the resolution of their predicament is creative and darkly hilarious. Unfortunately as a comedy this is something of a one-note joke: he's a vampire and he's fat. The constant fat jokes get a little wearing (and predictable), but the characters are likeable and sympathetic - even if sometimes you want to shake the lead firmly by the throat.
Overall it's a nice take on the modern vampire myth - and in this reviewer's opinion, twilight had it coming.
I am traditionally not really the biggest vampire fan, or zombies or anything like that, but for some reason this one sounds a little more up my alley with the title. I like a more modern twist, so I am see me liking this one a little more.
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