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They were tree huggers, animal lovers, and vegetarians; they had killer green curry and tofu stir fry in coconut sauce. They walked and talked with God. Then along came a snake to mess everything up. Adam and Eve were cloistered in a sheltered “paradise bubble” with evil nowhere to be found . . . until they succumbed to a “precious” piece of fruit—thus follows a tale of betrayal, lust, faith, redemption, courage–and yes, absurdity. Adam and Eve’s son Cain, a disgraced former philosophy student, commits a crime, receives his punishment, and the creation spins out of control. It gets so bad that a man who actually tries to walk with God goes AWOL, suspected to be either taken by aliens or taken straight to Heaven by God. This sprawling epic will span the future generations of the unfortunate couple in the garden, with this being volume one. Future volumes will delve into how God slowly restored humankind’s place as “lord of the garden.” This book is not the Bible. But you may never read the Bible quite the same again.