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Author: Tags: , Length: Epic

Free on 4th - 8th Apr 15
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GOOD HOME NEEDED

Please take me to your heart and Kindle. I am inexpensive and entertaining.

I promise to make you laugh, and I won’t belch, fart, or drink out of your toilet.

Unlike my writer.

Imagine – if your old granddad suddenly became the nation’s biggest rock heartthrob…Imagine no longer.

When Charles Clark’s wife passed away, he thought life without his beloved Mary would be unbearable. Charles knew that his middle-aged children, who had families of their own, didn’t want him burdening them, which is why they dumped him into Fossdyke Old Folks’ Home. However, unbeknownst to Charles, this is not the end of his life story, but rather the beginning of a new chapter.

What started out as fun for the four elderly musicians of a band called Fossils, has now, thanks to Kipper, spiralled out of control. Record companies, fans, and the nation’s media scour the country in search of the elusive, young, vibrant, four-piece band, unaware they have a combined age of 280 years.

The old rockers, fearing their families being ridiculed when the truth comes out, need to find a way to avoid attention in the UK until things can be resolved.

Fortunately, Steve has a plan…

Meet the Fossils:

Charles Clark (Nobby) – Keyboard and lead vocals – Prone to nodding off…often.

Steve Baker (Strat) – Lead guitar and vocals – Extremely irritable bowels…and I do mean extremely.

Wayne Logan (Sticks) – Percussion and songwriter – Selectively deaf, randy old sod.

Elvin Stanley (Chippers) – Bass – Digitally challenged, also a randy old sod.

Kevin Nutley (Kipper) – Local DJ and manager – As smart as a bag of rocks.

Dave Corrigan (Cosmo) – Pub landlord and manager – Claims to be an honest businessman who, according to him, had nothing to do with the dodgy DVDs circulated around town…honest.

Follow their antics as the band tours the Philippines, Cambodia, and Thailand as they attempt to stay one step ahead of their pursuers. They discover a new and carefree way of life, which they enjoy to its fullest.

Viagra, snuff, and rock ‘n’ roll.

Free on 4th - 8th Apr 15
View on Amazon.co.uk

Reviews:

"A great concept and setup, but some issues with writing"

Reviewer: .


For the first half of this book I was hooked. The set-up - forming the band, and having to flee sudden fame - is all entertaining. From the riot accidentally started by IBS, and their first groupie (only a spritely sixty-four) its just so much fun. Unfortunately once they leave the Philippines, the second half drops off notably. It is never a bad book, but it is never a great one and at points it is a boring one.

Some suspension of disbelief is required. The use of the internet and mobile cameras would have blown the band's cover very quickly, but email and mobiles get limited use in this story. The use of real celebrities in cameos is both good and bad - it makes it more real, but it also means this will date quite fast. The author doesn't appear to be too familiar with the way the modern BBC works, but that wouldn't be a problem for anyone who hasn't worked closely with the media.

There are grammar issues, usually stray commas and apostrophes, but no obvious spelling errors and the presentation is good. The writing style is easy to follow, but it is not brilliantly written: there's a little too much exposition and the story stops and starts. While it is fun to be told that someone was verbally cut to size, it would be much more enjoyable to read it happening. There's also a few too many cry-wolf moments spaced almost immediately before the actual event they fake for my liking and it took some of the impact out.

The last line is a total and complete let down, which is a huge shame. There are good reasons to break the fourth wall, but a dramatic "read my next book plea" is not - to my mind, at least - one of them. Kindle nearly met wall, and as I read on a PC that is saying something.

It gets a three. A great concept and setup, but some issues with writing and pace that let it down.

Rating: 3



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Third Party Reviews:


Reader (Micro Reviews)

"It's a really enjoyable book, but it takes a while to get started and some parts seem repetitive. The best sections are Waiting for God meets The Who, but the worst are getting cornered by your drunk aunties with her holiday snaps."
Read Full Review by Reader (Micro Reviews)

Discussion

Guest Posts (24 December 2017)
Name: northierthanthou Website: *Monument Valley* The subject matter certainly seems interesting. Too bad if it doesn't quite live up to the promise.

Belle (1 February 2018)
I agree with you on that one. The title alone had me eager to get my hands on this one, but it does seem like it's going to be a disappointing read. One thing I cannot stand is a book that isn't well written.

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