(This concisely written article is approximately 6800 words, followed by an excerpt from a book in the Set Your Boundaries Your Way series.)
What part of NO don’t they understand?
You know who I mean – those stubborn, manipulative people who just won’t take no for an answer. The ones whose unreasonable behavior and demands never seem to end. You want to stand up to them, but you just don’t know how to say no and make it stick.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many of us have encountered someone who just won’t listen to reason. We explain, we cajole – and when that fails, we may even resort to threats (or wish that we could!). But the demands continue. Why is that others instinctively know how to deal with difficult people – or avoid them altogether? What’s the secret to setting boundaries in relationships like these?
Understand What’s Happening – and How to Stop It
In this first article in the Set Your Boundaries Your Way series, Stephanie Sterner shows you 13 of the most common tactics used by such unreasonable people – and how to stand up for yourself without apologizing, making excuses or giving in. She explains each tactic in detail: what’s involved, why it’s so easy to get sucked in and how to stay focused and clear about your boundary. She even includes possible responses to each tactic, so that you won’t find yourself tongue-tied at that crucial moment.
You’ll be shocked when you see how others have used their understanding of human nature to distract you from your goal. You see, while you’re engaged with these people, your attention is quickly diverted to their tactics. But as soon as you focus on their behavior, ideas or accusations, your boundary becomes secondary. That’s how they get you. You’re too busy defending yourself to stand up for what really matters.
Once you understand these tactics and how you’ve been reacting to them, you’ll be able to choose your responses. Soon it won’t matter whether unreasonable people take your boundaries seriously because you’ll no longer need their agreement.
The Choice Is Yours
So if you’re even thinking about standing up for something that matters to you, this concise guide (just over 6800 words) is just what you need. After all, it is your life.
