Click here to join over 10,000 Subscribers for Free Books & Reviews! Follow on RSS Follow on Twitter Follow on Linked In

Bargain on 9th Apr 17
View on Amazon.co.uk
or borrow free on Kindle Unlimited.

Read Review

Top - Reviews - Update Details

You cannot change the past, but you can alter its consequence!

“The Presentation”, revolves around five law students who are preparing a report on an age old open and shut murder which they have to present in their class. Ravi casually suggests that the offender, Richard Bagwell, might have been framed. Each of them looks into the case with their own perspective and soon discover that there is more to the case than meets the eye. They look deeper into the case and their suspicion grows with it. The five friends come up with various interesting theories and make some mysterious discoveries.

What started as a boring case report becomes a challenge to them, who imagine themselves fighting for the offender who was sentenced to death for a crime he did not commit.

The story involves a combination of seriousness and humour, guile and honesty. The five of them lose themselves in a century old turn of events in search of a hidden mystery.

Excerpt-

Ravi heard his door opening slowly from the outside. He heard the key being removed from the knob. He hesitantly said “Who…Who is that?” His heart suddenly started beating faster as he saw him, he tried to run but his legs held him back and he started to sweat at the sight of the pistol pointing at him. He stammered some words but he knew it wouldn’t matter. The clock showed 7:20.

Kishore was walking up and down the hallway. The decision was not made and the time was running out. He was tired and wanted to sleep but it was still 7:20.

Neha dropped her knife when she heard a loud noise. She was scared to go out and find its source. She ran to her brother to see if he was safe. “10 more minutes” she said, “It’s 7:20”.

Bargain on 9th Apr 17
View on Amazon.co.uk

Reviews:

"There's a gem of a story trying to get out here, but it needs better formatting, proofing, and frankly an editor"

Reviewer: .


Set in India by an Indian author, this is an obvious labour of love which makes this review a hard one to write.

We review for readers, not authors.

This book is very hard to read, but that is mainly through issues with formatting and proofing. While it has the seeds of a good story, the layout issues make it almost impossible to follow.

Chapters do not always begin on a new page, and there are huge gaps in the text between paragraphs (loc 313) or even on the same line (loc 334). There are some punctuation issues (missing speechmarks around loc 56, confusion of it's and its).Double quotes are used for speech but also for quotes inside speech, and commas are missing at the end of speech, inside the tags. In places it can be hard to follow as the text moves directly from present day to flashback with only a standard paragraph and no scene break markers. As flashbacks and reconstructions are a major narrative issue this is a problem.

There are a few typos, but they aren't errors that a spell check would pick up e.g. "Starting right at you" instead of "staring right at you". (loc 80)
In some places the phrasing is strange, but the meaning is clear enough e.g. "were not ireful to each other" loc 134.

There are a few plot issues that left me confused. Early on the students state the man pleaded guilty for a lesser sentence. However on 942 it states that is guilty the sentence was automatically death. Also 7:23 to 7:45 is twenty-two minutes not twelve (first mentioned on loc 68). This error persists throughout the story, which makes the reconstruction jarring.

The style is very dry, although the idea is unusual and the setting well-realised. There's a gem of a story trying to get out here, but it needs better formatting, proofing, and frankly an editor.

I don't think I can suggest an audience for it just because of the significant formatting issues - I can't recommend a book I had to fight to formatting to finish. Potentially it would be law students and mystery buffs.

It gets a two. And I wish I could have given it more.

Rating: 2



Top - Reviews - Update Details

Third Party Reviews:


No reviews yet. Why not link one?

You can suggest a blog review here

Discussion

rz3300 (18 September 2016)
Well I might just have to consider it a little personal project then. I kind of like doing that, too, and probably do not do it enough because I do find it a pretty good tool to use to develop writing. Sometimes building off others helps me get my own ideas going.

djbook (21 September 2016)
It looks like one of my very first books in terms of formatting, cover, etc. Clearly, the writer has done a great job, but "the presentation" of The Presentation needs a little more work. There are some really great cover designers out there and people actually DO judge a book by its cover.

New to the site? Leave a comment below or view the chat on our forum here:

Your Name (required)

Your Email (required)

Your Website (optional)

Your Message



*Your email will not be displayed on the site. All message are held for moderation.



Top - Reviews - Update Details




Bookangel.co.uk


Born To Magic: A Post Apocalyptic Epic Sci-Fi Fantasy of Earth's future (Tales Of Nevaeh Book 1)
The Girl in the Gazebo: A Miss Riddell Cozy Mystery: An Amateur Female Sleuth Historical Cozy Mystery (Miss Riddell Cozy Mysteries Book 6)
Burn Fat Fast Through The Revolutionary Ten Up System
Love, Lies, and Hocus Pocus Cat Magic: A Lily Singer Adventures Novella (A Lily Singer Cozy Fantasy Adventure)
The Consorts (Forbidden City Book 1)
All These Shiny Worlds II: The 2017 ImmerseOrDie Anthology
From a Foreign Shore: Stories of History and Alternate History
Angels to Ashes
Born To Magic: A Post Apocalyptic Epic Sci-Fi Fantasy of Earth's future (Tales Of Nevaeh Book 1)
The Girl in the Gazebo: A Miss Riddell Cozy Mystery: An Amateur Female Sleuth Historical Cozy Mystery (Miss Riddell Cozy Mysteries Book 6)
Burn Fat Fast Through The Revolutionary Ten Up System
Love, Lies, and Hocus Pocus Cat Magic: A Lily Singer Adventures Novella (A Lily Singer Cozy Fantasy Adventure)
The Consorts (Forbidden City Book 1)
All These Shiny Worlds II: The 2017 ImmerseOrDie Anthology
From a Foreign Shore: Stories of History and Alternate History
Angels to Ashes